Self Control

When you pass near me,
The cells in my body morph,
They become flying torpedoes
Seeking the heat
From your inner most being

It is an attraction that won’t die
Lust from every aching part of my being
Self and Soul combined
Yearning to be held once again

Lips pressed firm against mine
Arms enveloping me and
Freedom is denied by the power of
Your lust
And freedom is not sought
For you complete me.

Orgasmic sensations within my loins
Caused by your strength
The memories;
Intercourse isn’t even necessary
My lips quiver at mere thought

How do I survive such passion?
Where do I find self control
In a room full of people
Within my heart
There is the memory to sustain me
Until we kiss again.

By Nicole Serra-Gonzalez

My Best Writing

I write best when I am free.
There are two places for this, you see
In the shower or in the car
I'm free to think and dream afar
Of love and lust, of happy and sad
Of anger and joy, of life that's dead.

I'm Sorry I can't Look in Your Eyes - 2 versions

I’m Sorry I Can’t Look In Your Eyes
By Nicole Serra-Gonzalez

I’m sorry I can’t look in your eyes
But it’s like looking at the sun
It’s easier to stare directly at the sun
Though my eyes would blind
It hurts more when my heart melts.

I’m sorry i can’t look your eyes
But i become a slave
To my desires
And i can’t lose control
But i do

I’m sorry i can’t look in your eyes
You use your eyes as mind control
I hear them scream:
TOUCH ME!
KISS ME!
KEEP ME!
YOU WERE MEANT FOR ME!

I’m sorry i can’t look in your eyes
But i can’t survive if i hear your words
I can’t live without my heart
And i must not lose control
I have to think clearly
And I can’t if i look in your eyes.

REVISION


I’m sorry I can’t look into your eyes
It’s more painful than gazing at the fiery sun
It’s easier to stare directly at the sun,
blinding my eyes, scorching my corneas
Your eyes melt my heart with unbearable pain.

I’m sorry I can’t look in your eyes
But weakness falls upon me,
I can’t break free from your chains of slavery
All control is lost
So I look away, praying to regain freedom

I’m sorry I can’t look in your eyes
But my ears hurt from the volume of your eyes
That scream:
TOUCH ME!
KISS ME!
KEEP ME!
YOU WERE MEANT FOR ME!

I’m sorry I can’t look in your eyes.

Down Low

The high road
brought me down low
beneath hell that awaits my soul

Heaven will save me,
but that could take too long
My body is already engulfed in flames

When did I fall to the dark side?
I try to hold tight to the light
But wonder, "do I want to?"

It is a faulty vision,
Right verses Wrong,
Love created from hate.

Clarity is a figment of my imagination,
my desire
my dream

There is a fog of uncertainty
overwhelming my mind,
But my heart doesn't care.

The blood drizzles from my heart
Like a leaky faucet,
Enough to keep me up at night

Why?
Why? Why? Why?
Never an answer.